Posts Tagged ‘adultery’

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Why Do Men Cheat?

December 7, 2009

[Today's post is by Dr. Wayde Goodall, author of Success Kills. Goodall and his wife, Rosalyn, are authors, speakers, life-coaches, ministry consultants and pastors traveling extensively around the globe holding family events and seminars. Success Kills published by New Leaf Press, is Goodall's 14th book.]

The ripple effect of the Tiger Woods sex scandal has once again forced the question, “Why did he do that when he had so much to lose?”

More importantly, “Why did he do that at all?”

One of the most read USA Today (WEB) articles is Tiger Woods scandal prompts question: Why do men cheat? (By Sharon Jayson, 12/4/09).  In her article she brings out some statistics about the prevalence of adultery in marriage.

  • 21% of men and 14% of women who have ever been married (including those who have been divorced) said that they have had sex at least once with someone other than their spouse (while married).  Of those currently married, 16% of men and 10% of women responded affirmatively.
  • An interesting observation about how many of us believe adultery is wrong.

In the 1970s, 63% of men and 73% of women said marital infidelity is “always wrong.” In our time, 78% of men and 84% of women believe marital infidelity is ‘always wrong.”

So, why does this stuff keep coming out?  Are more people having affairs today than in other times? If so, how do we make sure we don’t make the same tragic decision and bring incredible pain on our lives and the people we love?

A thought that I develop in my books, Success Kills and Why Great Men Fall is:

Entitlement: I can do this because of who I am, what I own, or simply because I want to.  Recently when talking to a U.S. Congressperson, I was asked to “Pray for humility for all of us.  Congressmen end up divorcing [their wives] and marrying their chiefs of staff because they are ‘big cheeses.’”  They further explained they felt this was a frequent problem with political and popular leaders.   Experts call this the “Bathsheba syndrome,” referring back to David and Bathsheba.

There are lots of other mental compromises people go through before finally taking the leap off the cliff. One thing for sure; those who make this kind of decision pay a very expensive price.

“Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife?” (Proverbs 6:27-28).

What are your thoughts?  Does this kind of behavior seem to be happening more?  Why do people take such huge negative risks?  What is your opinion about how to help people (families) who have made this very wrong decision?

In my next blog I’ll give you 7 ways you can protect your personal life, and your marriage, from this kind of a decision.

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